I have five kids, so take it from me: each child is unique. Each is motivated by different things; each has his or her own challenges. Right now, for example, we're trying to potty train Daniel. He's happy to go in the toilet when we ask him to, but he hasn't yet progressed to self-initiation.
Always before, I've had a baby around to give the training child a concrete contrast. I could say, "James is a baby. He wears diapers. But you're a big boy; you wear big boy underwear and go in the potty." Somehow this ploy isn't nearly as effective when the baby I reference belongs to a neighbor and not to our household.
The prospect of being able to sport Superman, Batman, or Spiderman underwear doesn't motivate Daniel in the least. Promising a reward of a gummi shark is slightly more effective, but only when he's hungry.
I've always been a fan of letting kids train themselves when they are old enough, but Daniel is almost three and a half. My timetable is looking better all the time. Today Daniel has been walking around with no pants on at all. So far we've had success, but we're going to have to leave the house at some point, and it's cold out. We'll see how it goes.
I've taught my older four kids to read. Each one has approached breaking the code in a slightly different way, though I've used the same system for each. Hope is a visual learner; Tess is much more auditory. James looked for systems and patterns in the ways words were constructed; Christian relied on memorization. The amazing thing is that they all have strengths and weaknesses, but they all were able to figure out how to do it, and how to do it well. The older three are all reading far above grade level, and Tess is making great progress.
It's a rule in our house that every kid has to learn how to play the piano well enough to play the hymns at church; that's our minimum requirement. (We don't have paid pianists or organists, or paid clergy, for that matter, at our church; all the members take turn pitching in to help where and when they can.)
So once each child is reading well, they start piano lessons. Christian has been taking lessons for almost seven years; James for four, and Hope for two (Tess will start in January). They've all had the same great teacher who has used the same instruction books with them; they all practice for roughly the same amount of time each day. But if I were to put out a song that all of them could play with ease, then leave the room, I could tell which one sat down at the piano just by listening. They each have a different touch, an individual default of expression. Their very different personalities come out in their music, making the song as individual as a fingerprint.
(I should add here that Christian can play the hymns well, and regularly accompanies the singing at church meetings. The tricky twist is that once you can play hymns, you're good enough to play a lot of other cool stuff, too, and the begging to quit ceases almost completely.)
I love that my kids all have strong and distinct personalities. It never gets dull around here, I can promise you that. It's a fine line to walk between valuing their individual strengths and pigeonholing them; I try to remain open to change and growth and surprising new developments with them all, because I don't ever want them to feel trapped under the weight of my expectations.