Frog&Toadcore: the Aesthetic I’ve Pursued All My Life
The iconic friends have inspired my entire lifestyle.
The iconic friends have inspired my entire lifestyle.
From Frog and Toad All Year, by Arnold Lobel
When I was little, I wanted to live in a Fotomat booth. In case you don’t remember those, they were little huts in strip mall parking lots where you could drop off film to be developed and then pick up your prints a few days later. I didn’t care that they were islands in a sea of asphalt and car exhaust; all I could see was the perfect amount of cozy space to have all to myself.
Home is…where the heart is?
Once a week in eighth grade, my English teacher had us put our heads on our desks while she led us in guided meditations. (I realize now how unusual this was, but our class took it all in stride.) After having us relax every muscle from toe to head, she’d tell us to visualize a space all our own, where we felt safe and where only the people we most trusted were allowed.
My dreamspace was a small, octagonal chalet in the middle of an old forest near a waterfall, filled with books, window seats, a kitchen nook, and a bathroom with a stone bathtub. I loved this space, and it gave me a vision to work toward through some difficult years.
Photo by Matt Seymour on Unsplash
Many years later, when we watched the great sci-fi suspense film Minority Report, my husband turned to me at the end and said, “That’s your fantasy.”
Agatha, Arthur, and Dashiell in Minority Report
He was right. Spoiler alert: at the end of the movie, the psychic triplets escape their enslavement in the Precog Crime unit. Freed from the deluge of others’ toxic thoughts, they live on an isolated island, playing chess, surrounded by books, with comfy cushions and a snuggly cat. Blissfully alone, yet together.
What does all of this have to do with Frog and Toad? When my kids were little, the Frog and Toad books were often at the top of our read-aloud pile. The delightful series, written and illustrated by Arnold Lobel, celebrates the friendship of the eponymous duo through simple but rich stories of everyday life. It’s not just that they go fishing or make cookies or read by the hearth together. The magic of the stories comes from the sense of safety and intimate understanding they impart.
Lobel’s lesser-known books communicate the same wonder. To wit: the sweet melancholy of Owl at Home:
Owl makes tea from his tears.
Or the cozy contentment of Miss Suzy:
Miss Suzy rests in her tiny, perfect treehouse.
But Frog and Toad embody the duet between insecurity and empathy, between longing and fulfillment that makes their relationship something to strive for. And in pursuing that kind of life, I’ve pulled threads from many different sources.
Climbing roses in the Cotswolds
I’m drawn to idyllic cottages and forgotten ruins on windswept moors. Anything mysterious is stimulating; Frog and Toad know well the power of a well-told story or dream. And the couple are armchair travelers who spend hours happily reading side by side.
When we lived in the Hudson Highlands, we were lucky enough to be able to renovate our house, and when we did, I designed a window seat where I spent many a lovely afternoon.
Photo by Rebecca Grant on Unsplash
But Frog&Toadcore is more than hygge and hobbit-style brunches. It’s about creating a safe space for creativity and rest, for communion and meditation. Frog and Toad frequently make time for small, unselfish acts of kindness.
The perfect reading and writing nook
Arnold Lobel was gay, and Frog and Toad express the unconditional support and love that all people crave — and that LGTB+ people all too rarely receive in our society. I read today that some queer kids are making Frog and Toad mood boards, which makes perfect, poignant sense. I want to move to the world of their imagination.
Because Frog&Toadcore isn’t just about how a place looks. The most important ingredient is how it feels. During this pandemic, I’ve had the luxury of focusing on making our house even more of a haven, where adventurous baking projects, game or movie marathons, leisurely dinners, and midnight chats are all encouraged. In this world of injustice, I’m aware of my enormous privilege in being able to shut all the madness away for a time — and of the importance of braving the madding crowds and trying to make a difference. But what a solace it is to be able to return to peace and refuge. I wish everyone the same joy.
The pure love of a snuggly pet