Making the Most Out of School at Home
Suggestions for grown-ups with children
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
I only have two kids at home these days, and they’re 12 and 16 years old. As I’ve read posts on social media about families with younger kids having to navigate distance learning with everything this year has thrown at us, I thank my lucky stars that I don’t have little ones to wrangle anymore. But I’m thinking about those of you that do.
I reached out to education experts I know for tips on making the best of a tough situation. One is a veteran teacher and principal; one is our fantastic high school counselor who is also father to young children; and the last is a mom friend who’s been homeschooling for more than twenty years. Here’s what they had to say.
From Minh Tran, high school counselor and dad par excellence:
It's not easy watching your kids learn without a live teacher in person. Teaching in front of a screen is just not the same tangible experience and value that you'd expect with in-person schooling. But it's like anything that I tell my kids in any situation or thing that they encounter. Be prepared to respond when things are in front of you -- event, person, place, or thing.
How they learn to respond is still an important learning tool for them, especially at a young age. Do I like that my kids are in remote learning or sitting in front of a computer for 6-8 hours a day? No. It sucks. But, that's it right there! We encounter so many things in our life that are not easy and simple as we'd like. We always have to learn to adjust and re-adjust with everything at every point in our lives. What's different now? Yeah, life is indeed different because we are not accustomed to things we're used to. We're creatures of habit, as they say. And like creatures in general, we’ve got to adapt to changing environments or we'll perish—whether it's physical, emotional, or mental.
There are many sentiments out there about remote learning, but like anything else in life that I tell my kids, you gotta be ready for the moment when life throws you a curveball. Are you doing the same things as you did before remote learning? Are you going to bed or getting up at the same time? Are you punctual to your virtual learning time? These little routines are critical in how I establish and extol simple values onto my kids, especially at their age.
I can help them control the variables within our environment at home, but I cannot control what's beyond their grasp, especially with all the social restrictions due to COVID. I get that my kids may not be getting some of the tangible returns or values of an in-school learning experience, but there are still simple and just as important intangible skills can still be learned under the circumstances that may serve them lifelong. I want my kids to learn to deal with their environment, to not give up, or be easily frustrated. We work through our challenges and seek help when it's necessary.
From Melissa Montez, homeschooling guru, piano teacher, and yoga instructor:
I recognize what parents are having to do these days is not a whole lot like homeschooling in a true sense. Yes, they get to be home with their children. But the similarities end there, I think. Parents don’t get to choose what subjects or books their kids will use. They don’t get to decide when enough is enough without, I imagine, getting permission from the Powers-that-be. And that will probably be accompanied by equal shares of guilt and worry their child is going to be left behind.
So, yup. It’s a challenge. But here’s what has worked for me over the years. If some of these sound like advice for getting your child to practice piano, it’s because they are. :)
1. Break the work up into small, manageable chunks.
Those chunks will likely be A LOT smaller than you think they ought to be. Frequently, let the child decide how big (by time: 10 minutes or number: 2 problems) that piece of work should be. Work and time spent in small bites is never wasted. Also, I’d say don’t add on to the chunk once it’s done. Otherwise, you won’t have the trust the next time you sit down.
2. Take short breaks: one an hour for older kids, more than that for younger.
Parents will be tempted to let their kids pull out a device for their break, but I’ve found it doesn’t feel like a break if you’ve spent it glued to a screen. If it can be outside, so much the better. For my kids, sending them out to water something, pick something, or get something always brings them back more relaxed.
3. Set up rewards
There is nothing wrong with a reward. I suggest having it be for work done (time or problems again) rather than number correct. Again, sometimes the kids be in charge of choosing what they have to accomplish in order to get something exciting. Little kids need short-term rewards. Older, more focused children can delay gratification a little better.
4. Find nature
If there is any way to have your children facing a window when they work, do it. I know Stephen King puts his desk in a corner so he doesn’t get distracted, but we all work better when we glimpse nature each time we look up.
From Irma Conrad, public education veteran with over forty years of experience:
1. Never compare siblings! Never!!!
2. All the kids should be included in important family decisions, including discipline.
Finally, one of my readers is considering making the leap from distance learning to homeschooling. Here are my thoughts:
Read up on homeschooling styles and philosophies. I’ve seen families successfully homeschool all kinds of ways, from the loosest unschooling to the most structured classical method.
Get in touch with homeschooling groups in your area. They can provide you with concrete and realistic information on what to do when.
Research the laws on homeschooling in your area. You may need to register with your local public school district or a family/social services office.
As Irma says, involve the whole family in decisions big and small.
Don’t be afraid to be flexible. Adapt if the curriculum you thought would be great turns out not to be the right thing for your family. Figure out an amount of time that’s reasonable for you and your children to commit to climbing the how-to-homeschool learning curve before you give up or switch to something else.
On the other hand, once you’ve all figured out a routine and made expectations clear, do your best to stick with the schedule. Consistency trumps almost everything else, in my experience.
Here are some starting points:
No matter what you decide, I wish you success. 2020 is proving to be unique in many ways, but with help, families can make any experience educational. You can do this!
Thanks for the resources!