I agree with much of Emerson’s famous essay on gifts (though, to be clear, I have been brought to happy tears by jewels and other extravagant gifts in the past). We give to show we care. We give to fulfill needs and desires. We give because it feels wonderful both to give and to receive.
However, choosing gifts can be problematic. Consider the following sentiments, which, for me, often come into anxiety-provoking conflict:
I want to express affection and/or gratitude.
I want to choose the perfect thing.
My taste, while excellent, is not universal.
What if the recipient doesn’t like the gift?
Or already has it/something similar?
Or is trying to downsize/declutter/go minimalist?
My financial budget is sadly limited.
My time budget is sadly limited.
I want to surprise and delight, not confuse and dismay.
Last year’s gift was a hit, which means extra pressure.
Last year’s gift was a failure, which means extra pressure.
Is this relatable at all? Do you share my struggles? Or are you, as you read this, smiling with secret satisfaction, having in highly organized and prescient fashion completed all your gifting chores last Friday/Monday/Fourth of July?
If so, serenely move on with your perfect life and feel free to ignore the following suggestions. They’re grouped into somewhat overlapping categories. I’ve tried to promote small businesses over big box stores and to include as broad a price spectrum as possible, including ideas for DIY projects.
Gifts of Food and Other Consumables
We all need to eat, and the vast majority of us enjoy it, so food is the ideal gift. Here are some delectable options.
That last is a great choice for someone you don’t know well, because you don’t have to worry about allergies, diets, or other food restrictions.
Or try different sort of consumable:
Frères Branchiaux (Candles)
Dorset Daughters (Soaps and Lotions)
DedCool (Room and Linen Sprays)
Marvis (Toothpaste (Yes! Trust me: this is a small but fun and memorable gift.))
Short on cash? I make homemade jam for neighbors and friends every year. I’m fond of Marisa McClellan’s innovative, small-batch recipes. Her searchable archive makes it easy to find a recipe for whatever good-quality fruit is local to you. You can get mason jars for about a dollar each at your local supermarket, sugar is pretty cheap, and there are lots of instructional videos online.
Experiences as Gifts
More than 15 years ago, we started giving our kids birthday trips. This was partly because by that point, we owned every toy, book, and game known to humankind, and partly because with so many kids, one-on-one time with Mom or Dad was at a premium. Those trips have become priceless memories—so much so that Patrick and I now give each other trips as well.
Look for tickets to concerts, games, plays, or other performances coming up in your area. Or investigate nearby spas or schools! Or splurge and build a vacation around a performance in another place.
Whatever you choose, write up a brochure for the recipient, including photos and excerpts from reviews where applicable. These are always fun to prepare.
Don’t despair if your bankroll is getting small. The gift of your time is precious, indeed. Create a day, complete with a leaflet (which makes a great souvenir) outlining the high points of time spent with you—perhaps featuring a nearby hike you’ve wanted to try, cooking and eating a homemade meal together, a streamed movie complete with nifty snacks, and/or a shoulder massage.
Gifts of Education
What would your person love to try? Ceramics? Hot yoga? Parasailing? Ballroom dancing? Think beyond horizons and comfort zones. Someone who knits might want to explore spinning or weaving; an experienced snorkeler might dream of learning SCUBA or spelunking.
You decide whether your recipient would prefer to go on a solo adventure, or whether you’ll take a class together. Kayaking or kalimba; bird watching or star gazing; tennis or tea ceremonies; mandolin or Mandarin; there are so many cool things to learn in this world that the hardest part of this gift idea is narrowing down your choices.
Again, if you have a skill you’d love to share and they’d love to learn, this can be a great and inexpensive way to spend time together. Teach your friend how to crochet or rappel or geo-cache, or practice foreign language conversation with them.
Subscriptions: The Gift that Keeps On Giving
Yes, magazines and newspapers make good gifts! I especially like digital ones, because the physical copies tend to pile up. Think of a special interest of your recipient—architecture? quilting? economics? cooking? current events? hobby farming?—then find a suitable periodical.
Realize also that many of the food/consumable ideas listed above can be given as subscriptions. But there are so many other monthly or quarterly options! Handcrafts! Puzzles! Bread! Golf balls! Charcuterie! Socks! Truly, the mind boggles.
Honorary Gifts
Sometimes, the best present is given to someone else entirely. I have been so touched when friends and family have donated in my name to causes I care about, like Heifer, QBSDR, City Harvest, Friends in Deed, and the Jane Austen Literacy Foundation.
I recommend vetting charities through CharityNavigator.org, Forbes, or CharityWatch. There are millions of just causes around the world, so it’s easy to personalize your gift. Does your recipient have a passion for animals? Consider the World Wildlife Fund or Keepers of the Wild.
Is your loved one concerned about the effects of war, climate change, or famine on children and families? Look at CARE, World Central Kitchen, or Doctors Without Borders.
Maybe a mutual friend or family member is fighting a disease; highly-rated medical charities include the Mayo Clinic, the American Kidney Fund, and the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research.
Every charity, large or small, is grateful for a gift of any size, so if you’re strapped for cash, just give what you can. Or donate your time! If a friend told me they were volunteering somewhere in my honor, I’d be over the moon.
All right, make your list and check it twice. Hanukkah begins next week. Christmas is in 25 days. Get gifting!
Lovely, dear Luisa!
Thank you; I needed these suggestions. :)